* OFFICIAL CAMPAIGN WEBSITE *
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<WOOF!> WELCOME TO THE FUTURE OF WEST ASHEVILLE! <WOOF!>
TIRED OF HUMAN POLITICS?
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>>> WHY VOTE FOR A DOG?
Because West Asheville deserves REAL leadership!
- 100% LOYAL - Will never leave you behind!
- GREAT LISTENER - Actually pays attention when you talk!
- LOVES EVERYONE - No political agenda, just belly rubs!
- HONEST - Can't lie, it's a dog!
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*** CAMPAIGN PLATFORM ***
MY PROMISES TO WEST ASHEVILLE:
- *** More Sticks! - More sticks for the dogs to play with!
- *** Treat Trucks on Every Corner! - Economic development you can taste!
- *** Ban Vacuum Cleaners! - They're too loud and scary!
- *** Squirrel Management! - Finally, someone who takes this seriously!
"BARK BARK WOOF!" - Campaign Slogan
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~~~ ENDORSEMENTS ~~~
"This is the best candidate I've ever met!" - My Owners
"Finally, someone who represents MY interests!" - Local Squirrel (reluctantly)
"10/10 would vote again!" - The mailman
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Website last updated: January 2026 (probably)
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>>> VISITOR COUNTER: 0000013231 <<<
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Paid for by the Committee to Elect a Good Dog
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